Unexpected Beginnings
by Bug Evans
Summary: With the takedown of HR and Vigilance, and the rise of Samaritan, John and Joss faced many challenges. Given a new identity and an opportunity for a "fresh" start, our favorite couple has to now face a new and unexpected challenge.


For the past year or so, Joss' life had been hectic. So much so, it was dangerously flirting with chaos. She didn't feel like she was in control of much any more, if at all. Arresting Alonzo Quinn, Simmons and dismantling HR, as gratifying as it was, started taking its toll on her. The realization that she did her part in the grand scheme of things, that she was the catalyst that sprung the wheels of justice into motion and that, somehow, she still couldn't do anything about the outcome stressed her out. With the trial's date approaching her stress only seemed to expand. She went over every detail from that night, over every lie she would have to tell the court and over every fact she would have to omit.

First, she'd started worrying about whether the collected evidence would be accepted. Thankfully all of it, along with the recording of the event prior to the shoot out in the judge's house, had been. This would only reinforced her testimony.

Then she got worried over John's involvement. Luckily, he'd been quick on his feet that night and shot at the camera on the patrol car, disabling it. After the event of that night their next move had been to destroy all evidence of 'John Warren', this alias did not fit with the well conceived lie they'd made up. John Warren became John Riley, a police officer in a nondescript precinct in Pullayup. It was John's hometown, which made it easier for him to provide details about the place if he were asked. Root managed to have any calls placed to the 'Captain' or John's former 'partner' rerouted to Finch and Shaw so they could fill the roles.

Yet, no matter how well conceived it was, she still worried. John was out on the streets doing vigilante work, always jeopardizing his cover.

Then his life turned upside down and hers with it. Suddenly John couldn't be anyone, he had to 'die' again. She didn't knew much about Samaritan, Finch and John wanted her out of this so she wouldn't have to suffer the consequences too. All she knew was, he had to leave to protect her, Taylor and himself. It hadn't been for long, only three week, just enough time for things to quiet down, for his new identity to replace the old one. Three week which felt like years. She hadn't been able to contact him, had no idea where he was (to this day she still didn't know where he'd been) or how he had been doing. It had been hell.

When he came back, Joss learned to appreciate the silver linings. The lie they'd so expertly crafted was now a reality of sorts. By who knows what means John was now a narcotics detective, newly settled in New York who didn't know many people besides her; his long time friend and fellow detective with whom he'd work closely once. This new development allowed them to date without suspicions and straightened their story a bit more.

Even though the risk of being busted was lower, she still couldn't stop the worry nor the stress that came with it. So, of course, she wasn't surprised to feel exhausted most of the times, nor was she surprised her emotional state was fragile. Exhaustion tend to do that to people. The queasiness wasn't alarming either, she just figured she was coming down with something; and, a couple days ago, it truly felt like it when she found herself hunched over the toilet after lunch.

But now that John was holding her hair with one hand and rubbing her back soothingly with the other while she heaved out her breakfast, she wasn't so sure anymore. The smell of coffee had her nauseous and the taste just didn't sit well with her. She'd barely had time to run to the bathroom.

Panic rose at the possibilities invading her mind.

It couldn't be.

It just couldn't be.

Not now.

She motioned for John to go and leave her alone. She was grateful when he did without protesting. This understanding he had of her was one of the reasons she loved him. She appreciated that he didn't hesitate to take care of her when needed as well as the gentleness with which he did so, but, she needed to be alone with her thoughts, if only for a moment. If what she suspected was happening was indeed the reason why she'd felt so off, then they were in trouble. She splashed water on her face, brushed her teeth and finally allowed herself to look in the mirror. She was pale, random strands of hair stuck to her forehead and her eyes were red. She didn't look nor feel her best.

Her mind was racing, hopping from one thought to the other. First she wondered how could this have happened. They were being cautious, always used protection. Except that one time, nearly a month ago, after he became too trusting of a manipulative number and ended up stranded and restrained in a warehouse for days without food and just enough water to survive; once he'd recuperated they'd been too caught up in each other, too afraid that this could have been the end for good, they just forgot about it. But she'd had her period, she distinctly remembered it.

Then she wondered how John would react to the news. She knew he'd wanted a family at some point in his life but she also knew he'd made peace with it. Cases involving kids were usually the catalyst of such conversations, he'd reveal some tidbits about himself, his past life and his relationship with Jessica, it's only when they started dating that he'd really opened up about his dream of having a family. Not to long ago he'd admited he'd find his place and his own family with her and Taylor.

And, although things between them had become serious quite quickly—their feelings for each other were on full display, they didn't feel the need to hide them—they didn't want to take big steps in fear all this changes and the commotion surrounding their lives would put a strain on their relationship. It was a lot to deal with. They felt like they needed a safe haven of some kind where they could be together, away from everything. His loft provided this for them, with its huge windows opening to the world while shielding the world from them, its large impersonal space that allowed them to be two individuals; while her place was more homey, filled with objects, pictures, books of sentimental values as much as memories they'd made together and others she'd already had.

The subject of family hadn't been the only one they'd broached, when his new identity, John Riley, was made definite by the Machine, John started to talk about marriage and moving in together when everything settled down. Joss had never considered giving marriage another go, in fact she never thought she would fall in love again. She'd been open to the possibility but dating hadn't been on her agenda and after the ups and down of her relationship with Cal Beecher she was certain her chances were slim.

As for another child? She'd thought about it, mostly in the army. She'd told herself if her and Paul got out of there alive they would have another child. Life was precious and she wanted to give life again, to experience the joy of having another human being grow inside of her. But things had not turned out as planned. She had tried hard to make it work, be a great mother, a great wife, a great cop and there was only so much she could be great at at once. And a great psychological support for her husband, when her own psyche was broken wasn't one of them. The fear of not knowing the man she'd married, of not being the woman he'd married were straining but the fear of Taylor, or her, losing their lives to a bullet her husband could have fired in a moment of PTSD induced psychosis destroyed them.

She'd stopped thinking about giving Taylor a sibling. She barely had time for her only son, she couldn't see how it would work with two. But now, she wasn't alone, John was here and she knew he would still be here. At 42, she could still carry a child and live a healthy pregnancy and have an equally healthy baby. But was it wise?

The light knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts. She'd spaced out. For how long she had no idea but she knew she had to get out of here because John was most likely worried out of his mind about her.

"I'm coming." Her voice wasn't steady belying the slight panic she was in.

"Do you need anything?" He was worried.

Joss got out of the bathroom, he was standing a few inches from the door, arms crossed on his bare chest, looking as though he was guarding it. She nodded her head 'no' to answer his question and he walked the little distance separating them before enveloping her in his arms. Her arms went around his waist and she held tight. God she loved him. He was her rock. His scent was comforting and reassuring. She pressed a kiss to his chest, just where his heart lied and it hit her. She had to tell him now. She couldn't wait for any confirmation. She had to tell him now so they could work it out, together. She wasn't alone, she didn't have to go through this alone. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, lingering there while holding her to him. She knew he was worried about her. She pulled back to look him in the eyes. His brows were drawn together, his blue eyes looked darker, the unspoken question lying there, waiting to be answered: _are you okay?_

She took a deep breath before speaking.

"I think I'm pregnant."


End file.
